DAD JOKES
Scientifically proven to make children groan and secretly laugh later when no one's looking.
THE FULL VAULT
Why don't scientists trust atoms?
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I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
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Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?
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I used to hate facial hair...
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Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?
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What do you call a fish without eyes?
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I'm on a seafood diet.
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Why do dads take an extra pair of socks when they play golf?
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What do you call a fake noodle?
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I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
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What's brown and sticky?
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Why do cows wear bells?
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What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.
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Why did the bicycle fall over?
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What did the ocean say to the beach?
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I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.
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What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
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Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?
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I asked my dog what two minus two is.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
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Why do dads always fall asleep on the couch?
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How does a penguin build its house?
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Why don't eggs tell jokes?
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
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Why did the math book look so sad?
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What's a dad's favorite movie?
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I'm afraid of speed bumps.
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Why did the stadium get hot after the game?
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